black history is black love
On today, the last day of the month in which we celebrate Black History and Love, I am reminded of the significance of both in my therapy practice. Many of my clients seek therapy with me specifically because of a sensed unique, unspoken understanding of what is the Black-in-America life experience and how that influences our development, socialization and interpersonal relationships.
The residue of generational trauma, deeply rooted in the enslavement and perpetual, systematic disenfranchisement of our ancestors, is intrinsically woven into our own present-day experiences of disconnection from ourselves, from a sense of belonging and from each other. During the period of enslavement, Black people were subjected to torture of mind, body and spirit and the physical separation and destruction of the Black family unit. Nearly two centuries since the Emancipation Proclamation, Black people in America continue to be subject to the degradation of mind, body and spirit in the form of social profiling, police brutality, economic marginalization, mass incarceration, the perpetuation of the insidious myth of the hypersexualized and/or “Strong Black Woman” pitted against the “shiftless, criminal-minded” Black man.
Yet people continue to show up in my space pleading for help reconnecting to Love. The Love they seek is Love for themselves, Love for their partners, Love for family, Love for this life.
The truth is, Black History does not begin nor end with the kidnapping and enslavement of African people. Our Black History and Black Future, begin with Love. We get there by recalling from our ancestors the Love that built Black families, hundreds of years ago. It is the Love of our ancestors that built civilizations; that Love is the backbone of America, the backdrop of us reclaiming our freedom and what has sustained our people into the 21st century. Love is the anchor. Treating ourselves with gentleness and compassion is an act of Love. Understanding that we as individuals are in a constant state of healing, evolving and growing and using that understanding to offer grace to one another is an act of Love. Providing a safe space for our partners in their journey of healing is an act of Love. Believing the best in each other, FIRST, is an act of Love. Choosing to embrace our uniqueness and that of others, is an act of Love. Love should be the default in all our interactions with ourselves and the people closest to us. Love IS our history and it IS our future. Above all else, LOVE.
by Dawn Swiney, MPA, LMFT
