Who's in Your Bubble?
Who’s in your bubble has taken on a quite an interesting meaning as we are approaching a year of COVID-19 quarantine living. I remember seeing a lot of memes and posts on social media last March saying things like “if your friends aren’t checking on you during the pandemic they aren’t your friends.” Now that we are a year into this pandemic life, I’d like to talk a little about who's been supporting you and who you’ve been supporting for the last year.
COVID-19 has placed a medical layer to the standards of your bubble, but being aware of who you rely on for support is quite imperative. Say you are abiding by CDC guidelines: maintaining your distance from others, wearing your mask properly, etc., and your friend is doing the complete opposite, would you want them in your bubble? I’m going to guess the answer is no. The same should go for your mental health. Those who are in your bubble should hold the values you do and actively support you reaching the mental wellness milestones you’ve set for yourself; however, this does not mean that they are responsible for your emotional well being.
One of the things I ask during an intake session is “who do you go to for support and what does that support look like?” This is to prep my clients for things that may change as they grow. Growth requires more than just the individual searching for it…the right environment must be cultivated for it to blossom. It is more than just having people to talk to but also having people you trust to be vulnerable with and can ask for necessary emotional help. Having those friends you can go out for a drink with is great, but having those friends you can share journal entries and talk about your fears with is even better.
Personal story: I was feeling quite unsure of myself after going through a break-up. I shared with my friends that I was feeling like I was not enough. This was big for me because in this moment I was completely transparent and open with my friends, something I had been working on with my own therapist. These friends sprang into action and surprised me with a self-compassion gift bag a week later filled with affirmations, my favorite treats, and self-care items to reground me. Some of those items are pictured above. Photo by Pillowy Thoughts.
Now my friends have definitely set the bar high but what I’d like for you to get out of this story is that I trusted these friends with a vulnerable moment and they in turn validated that they were a safe space. The people in your bubble should be able to spring into action once you voice things you’re struggling with, whether it be as a sounding board or a gentle reminder. Your encounters with them should not leave you feeling worse.
Think about those that you’ve allowed to stay in your bubble. Are they helping you up if you have a dip in your emotional wellness? Have others come to you and have you validated that you were a safe space? Are you open to sharing those tender spots of you? These are questions that may not come up often but that are definitely worth serious consideration.
Share in the comments what you’ve learned about your bubble!